The Long Wait

18 Sep

I think that one my least favourite things in life is waiting. But before I talk about that, I have other things on my mind, so you’ll have to wait.

“That joke was far too obvious.”

I want to be a writer and as any good writer will tell you, the two most important things a writer should do is read and write, a lot. You’ll never get better without practice and you’ll never know what is better if you don’t read. So I’ve been trying to read more and to read a greater variety of things. This is the part I find difficult. If I like an author I tend to stick with them, well within my comfort zone. So forcing myself to read new things is a bit of a chore. I carry a bag around with me a lot of the time and there’s always a book or two in there in case I have an opportunity to read.

It looks good AND you can put your shit in it!

Well, that’s what my initial reason was. At the minute I carry them around to guilt myself into reading them. It just doesn’t work, though. I’ll reach into my bag to take out my iPod or something to eat and my fingers will lightly brush the pages of whatever book I happen to be carrying with me. For a second I hesitate. ‘Maybe I’ll just read a chapter. I haven’t even opened this book yet.’ This thought is immediately followed by something along the lines of ‘Fuck that, I’ll just sit here and do nothing!’

It isn’t that I don’t like reading. I do. But now that I feel like I have to do it, a lot of the time it feels like a chore. I’ll finish Misery soon though. Definitely.

I think a part of the reason for this is the amount of music I listen to. When I’m on my own for any length of time, I’m usually listening to something and I can’t read when I listen to music as I’m just far too easily distracted. If I know a nice lyric is coming up I’ll more than likely completely forget that I was reading in the first place.

“How long have I been in this fucking library?”

Recently I’ve been listening to a few things. Over and over again. Fleet Foxes’ Helplessness Blues is still my favourite album of the moment and it’s been out for months now. Other than that and the usual helpings of Pink Floyd, Radiohead and Tom Waits, I’ve been listening to I Come To Shanghai. They’re an incredibly talented band and their new album Eternal Life Vol.1 is fantastic. It’s just great psychedelic pop and everyone should listen to it and give them lots of money.

So, all this waiting business that I talked about. I’m an extremely impatient person and I fucking hate waiting for anything. That’s it really. It doesn’t matter if I’m waiting for something good or bad, it’s still awful.

If I’m waiting for something good, like food that’s cooking, I get excited very easily and time stretches on and on. I’ll talk about what I’m waiting for. I’ll read about it. I’ll glance at the clock every five seconds with tears ready to burst from my eyes with anticipation.

“HURRY UP, CLOCK! I BOUGHT YOU AND YOU WILL DO MY BIDDING”

If I’m waiting for something terrible to happen, its equally as bad. I spend the entire time with my mind on nothing but whatever it is that’s about to happen to me. I dwell on it. I obsess over it and it drives me fucking crazy.

Things should just happen in a series of exciting events with no time lapse in between. In my perfect world there will be no queues. Everything will be instantaneous and no one will be bored. Heart attacks from too much excitement would be a problem, but with no waiting time for medical breakthroughs this won’t matter.

Unfortunately, that world isn’t real so if anyone is enjoying these posts, you’ll have to wait for another one.

Gavin

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